Glastonbury Festival - Macca's Driver Found!!

Macca's Driver Found!!

06 Jul 2004

Cruising the backstage area we chanced upon a novel sight. It would appear that Sir Paul ‘Macca’ McCartney had ditched his planned combination of an Agusta A109 helicopter and a Neoplan Jumbocruiser tour bus in favour of a lift from Yoko Ono in a 1993 Renualt 19 from Castle Cary station.

Yoko could never resist a few donuts on the grass. Ono, who lives for three months a year in a small farmhouse near Evercreech was one of the unfortunate many who did not manage to secure tickets despite her popularity at local farm shows where her organic produce has seen her attain mini celebrity status.

Sir Paul, never one to miss an opportunity to broker a peace deal, who indeed brought about the collapse of the cold war when he sat Reagan and Gorbachev down and made them listen to ‘Back In The USSR’ (then threatened to play them ‘Pipes Of Peace’ if they didn’t kiss and make up), saw the light at the end of the tunnel of 30 years of tension between him and Yoko, offering a hospitality ticket in return for a lift to the festival. “Let’s face it,” Macca was reported to admit, “the traffic is a nightmare and Yoko knows the lanes round here like the back of her hand.”

That's not Chinese writing, we blurred out her number. While McCartney wasn’t keen to stay too long in the mud after his set Yoko was seen many hours later in Lulu’s, the backstage bar, doing tequila slammers with Pete Doherty who had sneaked into the festival disguised as PJ Harvey and ended up at the Stone Circle at sunrise singing ‘Hey Jude’ from on top of the giant LOVE.

While neither McCartney or Ono were willing to discuss the implications of this recent thaw in their frosty relationship it is thought that both parties are pleased with this step in the right direction and will be considering what the future holds. A spokesman for McCartney said “Obviously we’re very pleased with this step in the right direction. We shall be carefully considering what the future holds”. A spokesperson for Ono said “Yoko lost a very expensive pair of sunglasses and a digital camera sometime on Sunday morning somewhere near the Green Futures Field. A reward is offered for their return”.

Words: >Stalker (who did not make this up at all. Uh-uh, no way, never. Perish the thought)

Pyramid 2002

Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud

Macca's Driver Found!!

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