Glastonbury Festival - Use the loo – or lose the Festival

Use the loo – or lose the Festival

17 May 2004

The Green Police will be certainly watching you this festival. Be sure not to get caught with your pants down! Don’t Piss in the Festival Grounds! No You absolutely can’t! It’s especially bad to piss in the river as this could kill fish and affect wildlife for miles downstream. Just Say NO!

Use the loos provided. There are plenty for everyone. Help us to keep Glastonbury going next year.

Use the loo – or lose the Festival!

Don’t drop litter. Just don’t do it please! Please just concentrate for a second and use the special bins provided.

What to do if you are caught with your pants down!

If a sexy lass in a Green Police uniform comes up to you while you have your penis out pissing in the festival – she is not likely to be inviting you to dinner guys. You are in deep trouble. You will be severely chastised until you can prove to our lovely lassies that you can be trusted NOT TO PEE ANYWHERE IN THE FESTIVAL – except of course one of the thousands of designated toilets on offer. Please don’t be lazy – the future of the festival depends on your actions.

DON’T PEE ANYWHERE BUT A TOILET.
Help make it a safer festival for everyone. Thanks guys!

Consider the litter-pickers this year! They have enough to contend with without your muck as well! If the Green Police catch you dropping litter or using the wrong bin they will make sure you are suitably humanely humiliated. Don’t contaminate the bins. Recycle and save more of the festival money for good causes and more fun. You know it makes sense.
Help make it a safer festival for everyone. Thanks guys!

Kingston-based charity Save The World Club have 100 volunteers this year for the GLASTONBURY GREEN POLICE. The main aim is to re-educate party-goers and make them aware of the rules of the festival. They are:

Don’t piss anywhere except a designated toilet. Use the loo – or lose the Festival!
Be Waste Aware! Recycling facilities are everywhere – use them now!
Don’t drop litter. Please just concentrate for a second and use the bin.
Respect the farm, any animals you might encounter, and the local community please.

What happens if a person has been “arrested” by the Glastonbury Green Police?
If a member of the public has been caught pissing in public or littering like a lout they might be risking their right to re-enter the Glastonbury Festival and ruining it for everyone else too.

First Offence: The Glastonbury Green Police will attempt to tell them about the rules of the festival and they will be give an severe warning!

Second Offence: If the Green Police catch an offender a second time or if they are a persistent offender they better beware!
1) The Green Police might take their photo and give it to Michael Eavis
2) They might be escorted from the festival with no right of re-entry
3) They might be asked for personal details and be barred from buying Glastonbury tickets again in future
4) They might have to go the Green Police “jail” to be further humiliated…

A history of Green Police at Glastonbury

Green Police started in Glastonbury in 1976 to encourage litter picking. Volunteers carried out ad hoc campaigns on behalf of Save the World Club and spearheaded by alternative comedian Professor Kayoss (Des Kay) they successfully distributed recycling bags and collected various items with a performance based approach to social and ecological learning. Glastonbury Green Police work on more recent festivals specifically with the aims:

1. To stop people pissing in the water and hedgerows.
By telling them face to face and showing them “the rules” of the festival using humour, sexiness - and accurate information.
2. To encourage litter picking, recycling and better waste management.
By giving out green bags, festival rules leaflets, encouraging litter picking using the power of persuasion and volunteers only.
3. To leave a legacy of important information regarding festival etiquette.
Raising issues like wildlife protection, excess noise, litter, pissing and respect for the earth create a win-win scenario for everyone who attends.
So the potential of Glastonbury Green Police is that:
• People learn to stop pissing in the water.
• No Litter.
• Less stress for animals, people, land.
• More respect = Less money spent on problems, more on fun
• People think more about the place where they have come to have fun and integrate it into their habits, views on the earth and ecology

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Use the loo – or lose the Festival

A history of Green Police at Glastonbury

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