OneWorld Stage

Pig Farmer in 'Farmers Are Geniuses' shock!

30 Jun 2003

“You should wroite this down” dictates Ryan Gladman, The Pig Farmer from Norfolk. “Very enjoyable…(pause)…but not as good as it could be if they did that ‘Owner Of A Lonely Heart’ one…”

It’s always so certain that one will be accosted by a rural type when frantically scribbling notes with “One o’ them there baaackstage paaases” hanging from your sweating pink neck. I kid you not, he actually said that.

“Go aaan, y’can use that…” commands this stout crop-haired charmer with a back like lightly grilled bacon and the stale odour of lunchtime cider. We’re just approaching the end of Yes’s set on the One World stage and in fear or embarrassment, I do as I’m told and write it down.

“Eee, they be good ain’t they?” he states, nodding sideways towards the stage. ”Oi’ve ne’er seen ‘em before loike. Why don’t they do that ‘Owner Of A Lonely Heart ‘ though?”

Er, because it’s a song from an incarnation of Yes that didn’t include all of these men. And it’s sh*t.

“So they won’t play it then?”

No.

“Oi see that Echo & The Bunnymen” I did. ‘E were roit fantaaastic. That Ian McCulloch bloke, zat ‘is name? Yar, ‘e’s such a crowd pleaser. You enjoyin’ Yes then?”

Until now I was. I’m still trying to thanks.

“They’re geniuses up there, they are…’ he continues. ‘Faaarmers, we’re geniuses an’ aaall…aaal of us…I’m a genius…we all are…”

Can’t argue with that.

“Too roit! If it weren’t fer the genius of faaarmers, we wouldn’t be standin’ ere today. ‘Cause ‘e’s a faaarmer, that Moik Eavis y’know…”

Paul Mills


   
     
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